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The Start Time Heard Around the World

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(student seen here studying the keyboard)

                The year of 2015 spells change for many students in Montgomery county. In the past students have been known for hating school and even dreading to get up in the morning. Why do you think this is? Because the high school education system is just a mindless automata that focuses more on numbers than actual learning? No, of course not. Students are tired. Some have to wake up as early as 5:00 AM! If they wanted an 8 hour sleep they would have to fall asleep at 9. No one goes to sleep at 9. But if they did they would have a measly 7 hours to do homework, participate in clubs, play sports and god forbid have some free time to cry about how they will have to repeat the day tomorrow.

                But all of this is a practice of the past. Out with the old in with the new seems to be the motto of 2015. This new start time washes away the all these problems. Students will wake up well rested and eager to learn. This should really solve all of BCC’s problems. ALL OF THEM. Doctor Superior Overlord Principal Jones has many goals for BCC. She wishes to decrease “unlawful absences,” drug use, and get rid of all else that us students and teacher alike actually look forward to!… I-I mean… decrease spending. Nonetheless later start times will solve all of these problems and more. Students won’t want to skip classes. They would be so well rested that they will actually care about their education and crave learning. Drug use? More like… Drug nonuse. Students will no longer wish to show up to school high or drunk. Why? A good night sleep is a high enough to get through the day without the use of supplements.

                Overall both students and teachers are very eager for this change. One student even saying, “This start time is some bull” you hear that? The start time is so good it’s as strong as a bull. The school’s best math teacher, Ms.Decarolis saying “Sam I don’t have time for this. And don’t follow me to my car!” You hear that? She’s so well rested she is doing nothing but work. That must be it… Right? No matter. This change is one to go in the history books as a sensical and practical way to achieve success in the learning environment. I’m finding that as the years go on, people of authority have started to make more scientific and sensical solutions to seemingly unsolvable problems. It’s a truly inspiring spectacle. When all else in society seems to make no-

Wait what? 20 minutes? what do you mean 20-. The push back is only 20 minutes? Well what the fu-?

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