On Cursing (and other vile witchcraft)


Truth be told, it’s not even a word people USE anymore. They’re swearing nowadays. Or using Slang. Posh.

Now, as a general rule, I don’t swear casually. It’s unprofessional, generally unnecessary, and frankly, I find it rather base and vulgar. Now in its place I use a lot of snarky, unnecessarily complex words to demean those around me, but that’s another issue entirely.

I just don’t quite get the point of cursing. I mean, sure it’s good for expressing anger or frustration, but how healthy are those emotions, really? Much better to suppress them indefinitely. I mean, probably not the best for your mental health down the road, but come on.

Much preferred to hearing some 3rd class 5th rate hoodlum swear like a drunken sailor about stubbing his toe. At least for everybody else.

I also find it….let’s say uncreative. I mean, (and I only say this ‘cause I doubt anyone’s actually going to read this) but calling someone a filthy-skank-faced-rat-bastard-son-of-a-whoremonger’s-slutty-cooch-*ssed-uncle-f*cker is plenty creative! But people rarely commit to more than an “F U!” which is rather disappointing.

I mean, it’s just as easy for me to call someone a twofaced-uncreative-lackluster-dimwitted-witless-filthy-mooching-greasy-good-for-nothing-of-a-shady-flaky-ashy-sweat-stained-mess, and get the same effect (with twice the creativity) without a single curse word! Still not PG. But it’s something.

And then there’s the words “Curse words.” I don’t know ‘bout most people but my mother taught me to stay away from dangerous Voodoo (not least because of my witchy aunt in New Orleans. We’re not on speaking terms).

So I’m gonna stick to my overworked rhetoric and I encourage all swearers to stop before a coven of bloodthirsty warlocks appears to tell them swearing isn’t allowed in the workplace.

Note from the Editor: I read it, Mitchell. Nice work. But I did have to edit your curses out. Sorry!

– Nicole