Lavender Baron – Fiction

Reality is boring. It’s a shame really, because I’m going to have to live reality 24/7 from the day I was born to the day I die. Maybe then I’ll get a respite from the realist boundaries around here, but until then, I’m stuck with this. There is one break from this reality however, and that is fiction. Whether in film, literature, television or whatever, fiction is much more entertaining than nonfiction. What’s the point of reading something that has already happened? Fiction can throw you curve balls; nonfiction throws softballs over the plate every pitch. In fiction, a team of Americans can assassinate Hitler and Lincoln can hunt vampires. In reality, World War II was a depressing, slow, painful struggle and Lincoln was an old man in a suit who walked with a cane. Why would we want to think about that for fun? Nonfiction is depressing. It always ends in death (unless you’re reading about geology or something boring like that), and there’s nothing we can do about it. In fiction, the good guy can storm the castle, kill the dragon or climb the mountain no matter what the odds are. If nonfiction were interesting, they wouldn’t have to exaggerate it so much. Sadly, it simply doesn’t have the underdogs and action fiction offers. Fiction media is designed to be fun to consume, while nonfiction is designed to…tell you something. Fiction is a genre, while nonfiction is some kind of weird umbrella anti-genre like the Anti-Federalists. And really, don’t we read enough nonfiction in school already?

Orange Baron – Non-Fiction

Why We Should Get

Off The Merry-Go-Round

And Get On Space Mountain

#Realityversesfantasy

#Epicbattleofthecentuary

#sh*itsabouttogodown

#Toobadfictionisn’tprepared…

#theywereoffbeing #NOTREAL

#Burn

#Reallife #FTW

 

All right people listen up, here’s how this is going to go down.  I’m going to give you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth because as Non-Fiction, that’s just what I do. I’m not going to lie to you or lead you on.  I won’t stretch the truth and pretend to be freakin’ Huck Finn.  I’m not going to tell you that werewolves and vampires can peacefully co-exist, or that volunteering as tribute is a good idea.  No, because that’s a waste of my time.  Why? Because none of those things are real!  They’re fiction, fake, fabricated, and artificial constructions of the human mind.

“But everyone loves fiction! That’s all I read as a child!”

And that is exactly my point.  Fiction appeals to children because they lack the real life experiences and the knowledge that makes non-fiction more exciting.  The reader feels more when they can relate to what is happening on the page, and that emotional connection is what makes the whole experience of reading a book more tangible and exciting.

People read fiction because it is easier.  Everything is laid out in a chronological fashion.  Non-fiction is better because it is real.  Real life isn’t linear, we don’t know if the good guys will always win, or that some magical loophole will exists so that you can pull a sword out of a hat whenever it is handy.  No, life is crazy and fanatical roller coaster that zips around in the dark like Space Mountain.  And fiction is a bit more like a Merry – Go – Round.  Even with all of its ups and downs, it always goes full circle.

So what’s it going to be? Real life, or an endless merry-go-round?