Mind Control for Kids, Telekinesis for All!

By Zach Weinberg, Synthesizer of the Misfit

Let me begin by saying that I am not a scientist. I have difficulty making exact calculations, and I really just don’t have the mindset to constantly work over minutae, which is what I imagine many scientists (especially lab ones) do. I could never work in a field where being inexact could mean not only the failure of your experiment, but possibly a failure that could ripple throughout everything you do (if you use that data later, that is).

That said, I consider myself to be someone interested in the field of Science – specifically the outlandish and bizarre. There are many things in this world that seem downright crazy and unbelievable, and yet are accepted as being completely normal. Science can be fascinating, and if you know where to look (I looked no further than my friend Alyssa Picard, who got me hooked on this story), you can find mind control.

Before we go into the wonderful world of scientific insanity, let’s set some things straight with mind control. When I use the phrase “mind control,” I’m not talking about brainwashing or anything of the sort. This isn’t some government weapon to brainwash people into a Dystopian future or a mad scientist with a giant laser cackling atop a castle as he takes over the world. Mind control, on this case, is telekinesis: moving objects with your mind.

This sounds unbelievable, doesn’t it? The idea that we can move things with our mind is present throughout the ages, from the witches and shamans of old to today’s comic book readers. And now, it’s been realized. “We’ll be able to fly!” You may be thinking. I can almost hear you exclaim, “We’ll just be able to make things float and fly around! Goodbye, carrying a backpack!” Sadly, what we have, doesn’t work quite like that. As for what applications it really has?

Want to take a guess?

It’s a children’s toy. Two, as a matter of fact.

The first, and more simple of these, is called the Force Trainer, and it doesn’t have a complex set-up. A tall plastic tube with a ball inside of it sits atop a pedestal-shaped bottom, and a small headset wraps around your head and presses a sensor against your temple.

It has simple operation as well: focus and the ball moves up in the tube, lose your focus and it falls. The playing aspect theoretically lies within challenges given to you by Star Wars characters as you progress (just because it’s mind control doesn’t mean it’s not a toy), most of which involve holding the ball at different heights for different lengths of time. This is not only unbelievable, but the concept of it is fascinating: through your brainwaves, you can move an object.

If Star Wars isn’t your thing and you want a game rather than a simple mind-control exercise (I felt weird just writing that sentence; it seems like such an oxymoron) you can check out Mattel’s new mind-control/levitation toy, called the MindFlex. The MindFlex is a more complicated set-up: a more elaborate (and stranger looking) headset that clips onto your earlobes as well as your forehead is paired with a device atop which a circular track sits, and playground-type equipment (miniaturized hoops, cage type-things and shapes with odd holes) is scattered around the track.

The idea is that when you focus, a little fan on the track starts whirring away, raising the ball up in the air. Then, you use a knob on the front to move the ball through the course laterally as you focus to move it vertically. A Mattel spokesperson jested that this toy required “mind-eye coordination,” but I’m going to add that to “mind-hand-eye coordination.” The MindFlex includes another variable, assuming that not only can you focus enough to move the fans, but you can also spin a knob at the same time. Which seems to be a lot.

While these devices do theoretically work for everyone, they may not be everyone’s strong suit. For multitaskers, these will prove especially difficult: multitasking trains us to think about many things at once, whereas the MindFlex and Force Trainer require you to think vigorously about one thing (one user suggested focusing on a candle flame glowing brighter and brighter, which sounds pretty good to me). There’s apparently somewhat of a learning curve, but when you think about it, that doesn’t sound so bad for mind control.

Whether you can focus or not, I’m betting you’re going to want to try your mind on one of these amazing devices (coming soon to a toy store near you!), and you can: all it takes is $79.99 for the MindFlex or $129.99 for the Force Trainer.

You know what, I think trying it out at the store will be fine for now.